Julie Keene

Poplarville, MS
April 1st, 2016|

Evicted means to expel from a property, but sometimes that property is in our own minds and we expel ourselves. I was an addict, living from pillar to post. I once had it all, a nice home, a wonderful marriage, and two beautiful children. Addiction robbed me of everything I held dear.

From the moment when I found myself in a prison of my own making and saw no way out, there was no one to really help because I was stuck in such a cycle of despair that I could not see the way out that was right in front of my face. I lost homes and was evicted from one rental after another because of CHOICE. Choices I made while fighting against myself caused me to lose employment time and again.

All the money had already been spent on my next fix, so I found myself walking the streets of these United States in one town after another, living in sheds and on porches with no electricity and no running water. I felt like it was what I deserved. Even when I found myself attempting with all my might to do the next right thing, guilt and shame would knock at my door and I was out once again.

My choices led me to break every good relationship that I used as a tool to manipulate my way into their hearts and minds to get what I wanted. I was selfish, I was lost, and I was a ghost to a society that no longer looked at my potential, but only gazed from afar at my demise. But it was a CHOICE all the same.

Today, I have hope. That was what I did, it is NOT who I am. God has a way of bringing us to some very dark places in order to shine His Light into our small little dungeons, pits that we ourselves have thrown ourselves into head first. I had found comfort in my pit. The mud walls were decorated to a tee, the rugs were placed beautifully on the dirt floor, and I invited anyone in who cared
to listen to how sad my life had become as I told the story of how the world had wronged me. But it was still a CHOICE.

I am free today, free from myself, free from addiction, free from the fear of that horrible word … eviction. I no longer live in fear of where the next meal will come from, I no longer check myself into detox centers and shelters only to ensure that I have 3 hots and a cot waiting for me. I no longer live with guilt and shame.

Freedom from oppression and the fear of eviction is found first in our hearts as we submit to the One who has the power to save AND transform. Transformation isn’t easy when it is all we know
and society continues to put shackles on our wrists while tying us back to that dirt floor, but God. Our stories are not meant to break US, but to help OTHERS.