The coronavirus and all the horrible things it’s destroying in our world has hit me hard. I’m a single, 55 year old woman living in Buffalo, Missouri. I had only been out on my own a few weeks when the coronavirus hit. I had been working 40 plus hours a week at my job. I was cut down to 23 or less. Never able to get unemployment. I just barely made more than allowed, so I wasn’t able to get any money.
I stood by my job until about three weeks ago, trying to do the best I could. But on the first day of August, I was $250 behind in my rent and $500 was due again. I was told I was being evicted five minutes before I had to be at work. When I got there I was crying hysterically. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. They wanted me to stay and work. There was no way I could do that. I was so extremely upset; all I could do was walk out. In hindsight I should have stayed. 23 hours is better than no hours. But I was having such a panic attack and so scared I didn’t know what to do. I had to pack and I had to get out and I had no help. The customers had their hearts going out to me and felt so bad.
The eviction notice gave me three days to leave, however they did end up giving me another week to get out. Probably because I had such bad panic attacks. I found it almost paralyzing to move and pack anything at all. So I’ve been out here living in my car for the last couple weeks. I’m broke, I’m tired, the heat has been absolutely horrible, I’ve got bronchitis and I can’t even fill my medications. If it weren’t for the kindness of strangers, I probably wouldn’t have been able to eat or have gas for my car this last couple weeks. I’m hoping something happens extremely soon or I won’t even have a car.
I now have a whole new look on life though. I know who my friends and family are, and surprisingly there aren’t as many as I thought. I’m a loner and it’s rare that I’ve asked anybody for anything. And I now realize that you can absolutely lose everything you have almost instantly. And I know others who have it way worse than I do. I’ll never look at anybody in the streets the same. Everybody has a different story, although many are being affected by the coronavirus, but they’re still there and they’re still hungry and they’re still tired and they’re living out in the elements.
I’m trying to find a new job and housing. It’s hard to go in and make applications when you look and smell horrible and people are staring at you. My feet have been so swollen from the heat and standing on them that all I can do is wear flip-flops, and I was almost in tears the other day when I saw somebody staring at my swollen dirty feet. It’s really hard to fill out all those forms when you’re so hot and your whole body is drenched in sweat. Makes it hard to think and to concentrate. And trying to find all the papers you need, like job history, phone numbers, your birth certificate, to prove who you are isn’t that easy either. When I packed everything it all got thrown together and I don’t know where anything is. It’s hard going through a metal 100-degree storage unit. A lot of offices are closed or it’s only the internet that you’re able to get through to them. And then they are telling you it could take 30 days or 90 or even longer. And then you usually need money for items such as birth certificates.
I’m trying hard to survive. I’m taking this as a wake up call from God. Because my eyes have been opened up to so many things in this world that I’ve been blind to up until now.
But I really could use some help. Most days all I have is God on my side.
My prayers go out to all those experiencing eviction and all the hardships that come with it.